The aches of love

Rain pelts down, drenching pavement, pooling grass
inviting a certain cozy warmth heightening desire to hold hot coffee
mug between palms, snuggling up
suddenly the contentedness is replaced with chaos
the atmosphere changes
faces worried, scattered, anxious
there is an urgency
hearts drop as needs are communicated
troubling situations made known
responses come together
level of calmness must manifest as to settle others
eyes full of searching, gentle words bringing tears
hugs that sink in weakness
shattered worth of another
exhaustion defeating
pain, hurt, trauma coloring the moment
struggle aches each one who loves

Surreal survivors

Frayed, ripped jeans, knees clutched with arms to body

sitting, nearly being swallowed by hat and coat as she shivers

I ask to sit, barley hearing voice as it's spoken just above a whisper

 sweet, innocent face intently peering at mine as we speak

I learn her story as she shares carefully

 articulating very slowly, leading me to hang on her every word

with each sentence her chin quavers, allowing herself a fully honest moment

 to tear up and be openly sad

we sit together in the sad, in the alone feeling

for a heavy moment I get to experience life through her eyes

I see the boots and knees of those walking back and forth

I feel the isolation, an awareness of being invisible

depending on loose change and pity of the stranger

knowing a little bed in the dark alleyway awaits

uncertain of when life will begin to get better

:::

With eyes to glowing stones below our feet

we trek into the pitch darkness of the overpass

flashlight in hand calling out into the echo of spray painted concrete

Beholding our friends homes

gathered, collected,set up amongst the messy trash

Out of the stillness two heads pop up from a mattress

sleepy faces, big smiles, kind chatter

sitting up in bed ready to share a box of pizza

Those sweet and savory moments

Oh that sweetness of sharing a little round table with him

paint brushes in hand

little mugs of coffee

creating beauty across from one another.

Arms a smattering of tattoos

voice of honesty

heart soft and humble

eyes wet with tears,

such strength and endurance to survive.

Savor.

Crisp fall wind

her beauty

clutching a plastic bag of bread

ready to feed the birds.

Bundled up

tiny legs crossed in her wheelchair

open arms ready to hug and kiss my cheek

carrying warmth

Savor.

Eyes crinkled at the edges in sweet gazes

sharing joy sparking life

glances of endearment

thick stew.

Words softening hearts

hugs awakening love

sighs speaking of identity

Jesus chats over acrylics 

Savor.

Heads tilted together in giddy laughter

affection spoken in darling phrases

banter

teatimes

sitting in crowds hearing her story

bright smile hemming and hawing bashfully

 Savor.

I am learning to savor the sweet moments in life

My thoughts cloud, rush and worry envelopes, and these pieces of sweet are lost.

My heart becomes weary, my mind overwhelmed, I lose thankful attentiveness.

The gifts are missed, the joys, the tiny details of his lavish love overlooked. 

I am learning to find Jesus presence in the simplicity of the moments, in the here and now.

I am learning to see his image, his heart right in front of me.  

I am learning to be okay with the mystery of it all, to just soak it up and enjoy.

 

Your heart so beautiful, your image so unexpected...

Mass of hair placed beneath ball cap

Thick blue liner surrounding bright eyes

red lipstick

little in stature

big in personality

cozying  up in a fresh sweatshirt

looking in my eyes she begins to lavish love upon me

extravagant, unpredictable worth

gentle care for me.

Your heart so beautiful

Your image so unexpected

He straddles a bike slowing to a stop

leaning to one side to speak

that smile, those eyes

tender, compassionate, gracious

peace collects his whole being easily impacting

with genuine expression and thoughtful words

he thanks with humility

Your heart so beautiful

Your image so unexpected

A large christmas tree stands tall in their campsite

fully decorated with a few presents beneath

the humor, the idea, the preparations, the desire to have it there

captivates me

His familiar presence offering joy and deep focus

consideration and beyond sacrificial

Your heart so beautiful

Your image so unexpected

Genesis 1:27 " So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them."

The crushed in spirit...

That sweet young face 

         fear peeking through concrete eyes

       stubborn, tough

 she strives to present herself

     yet still a little girl

        Running from home

    sleeping outside

draped in vulnerability

crushed in spirit

chin tucked into neck

knees propped up

together they ask for money

hood slipped down over eyes

belongings strewn along the corner

cars zooming past merging onto the expressway

silent whispers of exhaustion

defeated, simply sad

honest desperation

 crushed in spirit

Her story clearly spoken

unprotected, violated, neglected

mind recounting details

reflections, realizations, thoughts

haunting memories

 crushed in spirit

I want to have answers I don't

I want to be in control I'm not

I want to fix  hurts and pains I am incapable

I want to have perfect solutions I fall short

"The Lord is close to the broken hearted, he rescues those who are crushed in spirit." 
Psalm 34:18

The tearful kiss.

He sits at a subway restaurant, a few belongings stuffed onto a small table

anguish is apparent.

Layers of thick clothing zipped up to his neck

perspiration drizzling down his visible skin.

Eyes droopy and worn, clear exhaustion

with an alert panic and anxiety to his presence.

I am aware of him seated a few tables over,

however I am stumped a little frozen with what to make of him.

Whatever is going on there is  great depth of need even just visually, I cannot fathom.

Our eyes meet, his desperation with my concern and uncertainty

dropping  head upon extended arm  he mumbles some words to me.

I find myself welcomed to sit at his table,

I am struck by his rawness, his quick trust and vulnerability.

Deep fears and wounds are simply voiced as his face crumbles

abuses, harms upon his life, sickening injustices.

Filthy lies and hatred sinking deep into him, haunting and tormenting

burdens so massive, he feels paralyzed to leave the table and face the world.

Words begin to catch in his throat as stories are shared.

He weeps while welcoming prayer,

One of pleading for peace,

Jesus presence to be known.

True identity

healing somehow, someway

Strength to walk out the door and keep living.

I feel quivery and unsure as I pray,

aware of this man's hurt and disappointment.

I don't want to make anything worse, or say the wrong thing.

My words feel thin, what am I doing?

Prayer comes to a close, eyes open.

Without words he stands up in response.

Timid 

yet courageous,

peaceful

and unhurried.

He bends down and kisses me lightly on the cheek.

The presence of Jesus so tangible mysterious, holy catching us both by surprise.

She stands on the street corner

I see her silhouette off in the distance standing on the street corner

We draw near taken aback by her appearance.

White socked feet tucked into tall high heels,

Skin tight see through dress, fully exposing her body.

Wavering stumble attempting to strut elegantly.

She instantly responds with a gentle polite nature as we approach,

welcoming some basic needs and food items.

Face revealing exhaustion in her twelfth hour of work,

she shares her desire to be stood with for a moment to feel safe even just briefly.

I am stunned by her simple request.

Our time is quickly interrupted by a much older man 

He beckons her with no eye contact,

just a lingering stare. 

The moment shifts, she shifts into an experienced temptress before our eyes

our hearts break beholding the scene.